Jul
29
As a single person, I tease people in relationships like it's my job. Seriously. It's what I do. While it's not my job to judge anyone on what makes them happy, some couples make me shake my head disappointingly.I suppose I break a female stereotype. For example, romantic relationships depicted in the media usually don't do it for me. * I tsk at romantic movies. I avoid romance novels like the plague. And don't even get me started on Twilight. I've questioned the legitimacy of fictional relationships so often, it's trickled into my real life perceptions as well.
* I'm not completely heartless, though. I promise. For example, my heart is still recovering from Rose/Ten in Doctor Who. Oh, how I cried! Hitler could have made a jacuzzi from my tears.
Don't get me wrong. I believe in love. I've seen examples that it exists. I think it's pretty awesome, you know, in theory. I just think finding love -- that once-in-a-lifetime love based on compatibility, selflessness, trust, and honesty -- is unlikely. It's like winning the lottery, or having a unicorn sighting. While I consider myself a romantic, I'm also a realist.
I may have become too cynical to function, however. This is when I found Love Gives Me Hope. LGMH is a collection of stories submitted by readers, which are supposed to invoke within you feelings of "hope" about "love." Pretty self explanatory.
This website follows through on its goal. Some of the stories are pretty freaking adorable and have managed to melt their way to the tootsie roll center of my tootsie pop heart. However, I would occasionally run into stories that made my brain convulse. For some of these stories, it seemed like there needed to be a spin-off site: LGMWTF.
And am I going to share some of these findings with you? Absolutely, I am.
Why this gives me WTF?:
I would have payed money and brought popcorn to hear this apology. "Baby, I'm so sorry! A hoard of cell phone imps stole my phone. You know the odd voicemails you received from me that sounded mysteriously like me having relations with another girl? Those were also the phone imps. That is their mating call."
Do these two not have Facebook accounts? There wasn't a mutual friend he could have alerted? Didn't this guy know where his girlfriend LIVES? It's hard for me to believe that there was no humanly possible way for him to have let his girlfriend know of his situation. Hire a skywriter if you have to! Just don't let your girlfriend worry!
This is discourteous at best and fishy at worst. Having a mutual understanding of life's circumstances, yet still making the effort to take time out for each other whenever possible, is one thing. Disappearing with no explanation is another entirely.
"He pulled a douche move, but he 'apologized about a million times' so all is okay again!" No. Trust is hard to rebuild once broken. It's possible to fix broken trust by making up for the mistake, and not pulling the same douche move again. That's my philosophy, anyway. I demand respect for myself. And this is why I'm going to die an old maid surrounded by cats.
Why this gives me WTF?:
Love happens at all different speeds, but this scares the bejesus out of me. Marriage is a big step, the biggest step, the stepiest of the steps. It's a decision that I think some people take too lightly.
How well do you really know a person after three months? Could I have said most, if not all, of these wonderful things about guys I've dated after three months? Yes. Should I have married them? Definitely not. The only way I could've possibly known that was by giving the relationship time. People put their best foot forward when you start dating them. When you let your heart get ahead of itself, you're in danger of missing the things you might not be able to deal with in the future.
If she still feels this way in another three months, and then another three months, power to her. Sometimes you can tell right off the bat that something is right. It's just that when it's right, it'll feel right even after the warm fuzzies of the beginning of a relationship wear off.
Why this gives me WTF?:
What the...? How is this romantic? You guys are thirteen! You're not even in high school yet! You still watch Spongebob Squarepants! You can't be engaged! I just...I can't even... Ugh. Teenagers.
Why this gives me WTF?:
You know what would have made this story really touching? If this guy wasn't such a jerkface.
Not only is this guy completely leading Girl A on, but consistently disrespecting Girl B. This isn't love. This is...teenage male. If he truly cared about either one of these girls, he would either stay loyal to the first girl or admit he has the hots for the second one. Either way, he needs to stop wasting both of their time.
Why this gives me WTF?:
Love gives me hope, but stalking doesn't. It's not a crime to miss your girlfriend when she's not around, but pull yourself together! She'll be back in a month! In the meantime, you still have the telephone. And Skype. And your hobbies. I'm assuming you still have hobbies outside of Girlfriend Infatuating, right?
I knew a guy like this once. He kept a diary exclusively about his girlfriend as well. Her name was also on a few of his inanimate objects. I couldn't help but ask if he was also working on a necklace made of locks of her hair, or how his life sized statue of her likeness built with wads of her used gum was coming along.
I would take it upon myself to build LGMWTF.com, but I may die due to repeated aneurysms. As an alternative, I may have to open Kittens Give Me Hope. The tagline? You may be single, but at least there are kittens.
Can Kittens Give Me Hope be real? PLEASE?
Seriously people start worrying about love to young. ANd agreed on the romantic stories. How is the stalker journal romantic? Like I watch you while your sleeping, really creepy.