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Thinking, so you don't have to!

whit·ni·cism - noun: A snarky sometimes witty take on the world through the eyes of someone named Whitney, who is snarky and sometimes witty.

I'm fairly convinced that if the average person had access to my brain, it would kill them within five minutes. The rapid pace, obnoxious, persistent thoughts would simply be too much to take.

To avoid insanity and aneurysms on my part, I write. It's the only cure. Fortunately for you, I decided to put some of these thoughts onto the internet for the general public to get a glimpse of.

You're welcome?

Let's get reacquainted!

It's been over five months since the Official Announcement that I'm Going to Blog Again and I'm...well, blogging again. I hope this proves that I was serious. I also have the Blogger dashboard on my toolbar, which should doubly prove that I was serious.

I can see how you can be skeptical, however, my dearest Blog. I've led you on. I've told you I would come back to you, but I didn't. I have made many promises I didn't keep. I subjected you to a tub of Ben & Jerry's, watching Titanic, having a sob-a-long with "My Heart Will Go On."

For all of that, baby, I feel bad. I nearly let the best Blog that ever happened to me go forever. I want to try to make us work again.

However, I understand there is a lot of bitterness between us. I don't expect us to start out and be the way we were, Bloggykins. A lot has changed about me since we have been apart. I have a different job, and a new career path. I've met new people and gotten into some new things. I have bangs now. Yet there is one thing that hasn't changed about me: I'm a snarkbucket extraordinaire. I believe, if we take it slow and get reacquainted, there's a chance we can work out.

Let's pretend we're on our first date. I'll take you somewhere a bit on the sexy side, because we have a history and I have some intentions. No? You're not ready for that yet? Okay, baby. I respect you.

Tell you about myself? Okay! We'll start with the basics. Name? Whitney. Age? Anywhere between twelve and thirty-three. Job? Yes. School? Working on it.

Things I like? Cheesy pop music. Pretending I go to a prestigious, British boarding school for wizards. Board games. Several different foods that are horrible for my health and wondering how I'm not dead yet, or at least 75 pounds heavier. Planning out what I would do if the zombie apocalypse began in whatever room I'm in. Referencing television shows.

My dating life? I have several relationships with fictional characters, and they are thriving.

With this base of honesty, trust, and knowledge, I think Blog and I can plan on a lovely June wedding.
Read More 2 comments | Posted by Whitney edit post

2 comments

  1. Venomiser on October 20, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    Your a very talented writer ill give you that. Nicely done on using, not so basic words to emphasize the facts. Sounds like you would have a lot of fun with those dating circle groups, where you meet the person, and are timed to get to know them as well as you can. Bravo

     
  2. Anna Gailey on October 22, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    If anyone ever wonders why you're a soul sister of mine, I'll direct them to this post.

     


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