Because I'm a master procrastinator, and because it's Thanksgiving, here are thirty things I am thankful for in one fell swoop. You're welcome for not clogging up your news feed, Facebook friends.
1. I am thankful for microwaves. I am always 30 seconds away from having hot cheese on any food I want.
2. I am thankful for the internet. It's good to know that there are other nerdy, cat-loving, introverted people in the world.
3. I am thankful for my niece. She's single handedly the best human being on this planet right now.
4. I am thankful for Disney movies. Even if they did give me unrealistic expectations about men, hair, and the social appropriateness for bursting into song when you have a lot of feelings.
5. I am thankful for my mom. For the obvious stuff, like that whole "giving me life and putting up with me for 22 years" thing, but also for things like this:
Mom: Whitney? Do you remember if my toothbrush is the purple one or the orange one?
Me: It's the orange one, Mom. And your pajamas are on backwards.
6. I am thankful for hair dryers, because my hair literally takes 4-5 hours to dry completely on its own and ain't nobody got time for that!
7. I am thankful that I have enough fictional character boyfriends to keep me company until I find a real one. (I have a hot date with Augustus Waters tonight!)
8. I am thankful that I'm not 17 years old anymore. Seriously, THANK GOD.
9. I am thankful that people like Taylor Swift and Zooey Deschanel exist so I can live vicariously through their wardrobes.
10. I am thankful for my job. The job itself sucks, but there are definitely worse people that I could be required to hang out with for eight hours.
11. I am thankful for my sister, because two parents wasn't enough and I needed a third one.
12. I am thankful for coffee. There are some days I can look back on where I could've literally died without the stuff.
13. I am thankful that I have a group of friends that not only tolerate, but even understand, my enjoyment of One Direction.
14. I am thankful for Facebook. It makes an inability to keep your nose out of other people's business SO much easier.
15. I am thankful for carbs. Mmmm, carbs.
16. I am thankful for my best friends. For nerding out with me, listening to me rant, and basically volunteering to put up with me.
17. I am thankful for my dad. He's almost as funny as he thinks he is (and that's pretty funny.)
18. I am thankful, regardless of the foods that I eat on a regular basis, that I am not dead right now.
19. I am thankful for the country of England for many reasons. A big chunk of my heritage, the Beatles, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, YOUR ACCENT.
20. I am thankful for Maury Povich's talk show for always making me feel better about my own life.
21. I am thankful for my brother-in-law, even though he mooned me this morning. Love you, too.
22. I am thankful for not only having a pretty attractive face, but being able to take comfort in the knowledge that I will age well. Thanks genetics!
23. I am thankful for Jason Mraz. I'm also thankful for countless other musicians, but I'm ridiculously thankful for Jason Mraz.
24. I am thankful that I'm not any of these people.
25. I am thankful for zombies. (Please do not hold this against me in the event of an actual zombie apocalypse.)
26. I am thankful for ability to restrain myself from making sad, vague, attention seeking Facebook statuses.
27. I am thankful that I own all three extended editions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (although I wish I had the time to watch them.)
28. I am thankful that my love of clothes ties in well with my ability to find really, really good deals on clothes.
29. I am thankful that I didn't get myself pregnant as a teenager. Yay team me!
30. I am thankful for the banana cream pie that I'm about to go eat riiiiiiiight...now!
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